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  • Writer's pictureAdil Malia

Yes, It Can Be A NO...

People have suffered a life-time with this two lettered word 'No'. Either they can't say it ... or have not mastered the art of saying it in the right way...or have not timed their 'No' right. Yes, you can say No for if you don't, you will otherwise suffer monetarily, socially, emotionally and all of that personally !

It is all about bespoking your 'NO' to the right situation, circumstances, the person and the context. Says Ury ... " in saying NO positively, we are giving ourselves a gift....we are protecting what we value."

Each one of us has got an assumption of we call - our 'face'. That is your self equation. No one ever wants to have the status of his face diminished in relation to others. Turning someone down by saying a NO, may be an affront to someone's face. Never ever therefore antagonize the listener of your NO by hurting his face.

Back up your NO with a BATRI ( the best alternative to reduce impact of your NO).

My 10 tips for you to say an affirmative 'No', positively ...

- Analyse impact of your

'No' on the listener

- Choose the right time

- Choose the right place

- Chose the right people


- Plan your BATRI

- Be specific ... leave no


- Explain your reason

- Mentally rehearse yr


- Be graceful in style

- Be assertive in tone

without being insulting

And if you do that (say your NO, right), you would have not only protected what you value but also retained a friend without vitiating the climate or inviting a counter blast of anger.

Save his face to protect your face. That should be your script.

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