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  • Adil Malia

Relational Rigor Mortis


All relationships collapse (at work-place or at home) when the core communication processes that bind the relationship, breaks-down. Gottman & Coan research into divorces between couples, reaffirms this. Relational deterioration happens in four distinct though quickly pursuing stages ... 👉 critiquing the partner by attacking core values, personality or indulging in character assassination instead of listening and objectively explaining annoyance. 👉 counter blasting reactions. As a consequence of the first stage, instead of maturely calming down to resolve, chooses to counter attack 👉 expressing sheer disgust at the very presence of the other by observable somatic gestures and rude expressions 👉 stonewalling or blocking (cold-warring) or totally ignoring the other person as a consequence of initially physical and subsequently emotional rejection. The relational collapse can be halted by wise indulgence in constructively positive and wise alternatives. Counter blasting quid-pro-quo reactions is like signing the death-warrant of that relationship. Comeback becomes difficult once ego sets in. Choice is yours. Depends on the value you place on that relationship. Stop it as early before relational 'rigor mortis' sets in if you value the relationship

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