The Other Side Of Dark

It is folly to assume that people will behave as before when time and circumstances change.

Our behaviour is influenced, consciously or unconsciously, by the power we hold within a relationship. When that balance shifts, the patience, warmth and consideration we took for granted may shift too.

Dependence can make us accommodating; authority can make us demanding. Apparent humility may simply be the restraint of having little choice. Only when that constraint disappears do we discover what reflected character—and what reflected circumstance.

Yet this applies to us too. We readily recognise changes in others that we conveniently overlook in ourselves. Before questioning another person’s changed colours, we would do well to examine our own.

The test of character is whether our respect for others survives a shift in power in our favour.

Let me share a short story.

Whenever Mehra dismissed a suggestion, his deputy, Arun, would reassure younger colleagues.

“Don’t let his chair intimidate you. A designation doesn’t make anyone wiser.”

People trusted Arun. He listened and welcomed disagreement. When Mehra retired, Arun was the obvious successor.

During his first week, a young manager questioned his proposal.

“Have we considered what this means for the branch teams?”

Arun glanced at his watch.

“I’ve worked here for twenty years. I understand our branches. Let’s move on.”

The room fell silent.

Over the following months, his door remained open, but fewer people entered. Suggestions became requests for approval. Arun mistook the growing agreement for a team finally coming together.

One evening, he complained to his old colleague, Leena.

“People have changed since my promotion. Nobody speaks freely anymore.”

Leena hesitated.

“Yesterday, I almost disagreed with you. Then I remembered how you responded to the last person who did.”

Arun put down his pen.

“I’ve always encouraged people to speak.”

“You have. But earlier, you weren’t the person they were disagreeing with.”

He began explaining the pressures of his role, then stopped. He had heard Mehra offer the same explanation.

The next morning, Arun called the young manager.

“You raised a concern about the branches. I cut you short. Will you take me through it?”

She opened her notebook cautiously.

For once, he left his watch alone.