A Query

S. Ravindra Rao (Mumbai) writes..."Adil, I cared a lot for my ex-boss. Enamoured by him, I loved him & honestly did every thing that he told me to. But despite that, when I now look back, he did not do anything for me or my career. I feel let down. After moving on, years later he was on panel of an 'Interview Board' for my promotion and I hear (unconfirmed) that he gave me the lowest marks. I was not promoted. Am feeling very let down.

My response...

Dear Ravindran, you need to monitor the trigger that generally sets-off your feelings of love towards some one (read Boss !). If the trigger is ignited by the core values of selflessness, integrity and strength of character of the other person, feel free to be drawn to that person.

But if, on the other hand, your trigger is ignited by his external recognitions and factors of power, position & influence enjoyed by that person, you should restrain and curb your urge to mingle with him only for such reasons.

Both these situations could be true : you may be attracted to him for his power and position and not his character OR that he may actually be having a very solid character and may not really be finding you suitable for upward movement purely on emotional and relational issues. In either of these cases, you should not rue. Can't blame him for either.

If he did not give you authentic feedback on your performance or if he did not give you Career advise when you sought the same from him, I would agree with your observations. Poor leader. I would agree. But I did not get that feeling from reading your message.

Imagine the sentiments of the guy who got promoted, if he was not selected because that ex-manager sitting on the panel selected you for the job though not equally competent.

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