You are what your self-esteem prompts you to be. Your success and failures are prompted by the inner you..... self-esteem, the measure of your own self- worth, self-respect, confidence and assessment of abilities in comparison to others who you bench-mark with.
Either you are a realist (the confused mass in between) or you are a Masochist or a Sadist. These are the three clusters of 'self-esteem' anchored behaviours
'Masochist' doesn't take pleasure but soaks in comfort of his/ her low self esteem. A Masochist believes he/she is inferior and thus by actions, inflicts pain self pain. A 'Sadist' has extreme high self esteem and falsely believes in others being extremely low in comparison. He thus loves insulting and inflicting pain on others. Both the Sadist and the Masochist are disasters, each on other side of the fence.
A Masochist is a victim . Having undergone certain experiences and encounters in life, believes that he has been treated like a victim. Such a person refuses to come out of his / her shell hence unconsciously, keeps pushing deeper. Earlier unconsciously and later consciously, the Masochist allows the toxic Sadist to dominate him, bully his life-stye and other aspects. Then for the Masochist it is too late and he/ she finds it difficult to struggle out of the equation.
Like quick sand the Masochist keeps sinking deeper each time that he makes an attempt to pull out. Somehow, with external help or by own efforts, the victim has to pull out of the negative script that keeps pulling him/ her down and deeper.
Here are my 5 suggestions in case you are a suffering Masochist to pull out of the squalor of your self written negative script :
1. Recognize that it is you who has allowed the script to be written all over.
2. Take charge and tell the toxics - no longer, not any more. Say it in so many words.
3. Sever all links with them. Keep them at bay. No pity for them. Love yourself more. Even if they seek forgivance and promise never never never to repeat. Old habits die hard.
4. Write the script of your choice and give yourself the heroes role. Bring inside out.
5. Make positive friends and focus on the present. You are your best friend. Write positive script for one day at a time