• Adil Malia

The Winner Boxes

The phenomena of the 'Known' and the 'Unknown' has always intrigued me. Success with relationships work on these two phenomenon of the 'Known' and the 'Unknown'. It renders one to four critical situations .. and thus to the winning boxes.

a. Known to the unknown...that is bad news. It has a transactional set back. The unknown person knows things which ideally they should not have known. You Think too that they do not know and position yourself thus but the sad fact is that the unknowns transact with that knowledge and you naturally lose out in the bargain. This can be dangerous and leads to negotiating set-backs.

b. Unknown to the unknown..that is good news.You could position yourself accordingly and this may provide to be an advantage until it is a big bluff or a deception you are creating. It is a neutral open screen for positioning. Can prove to be a calculated negotiating advantage, if used wisely and well.

c. Known to the Known..that is good because good or bad, strength or weakness, accurate information is available & in equal symmetry to both particularly to those who know you. . Those who should know you, should know you well. Transactional success arises when the block of knowledge and that what is revealed, is as large as possible. This creates space for openness and authenticity.

d. Unknown to the known. This is very bad . Those known to you are unaware of things, information & knowledge. Chances of Transactional conflicts arising are highest in this space...where you work on an assumption that they know all that needs to be known and then feel disgruntled & upset when you realise that they don't even know that. Can lead to misunderstanding, distruct and suspicion. This is the largest space for Transactional work in relationships. Work to make every unknown to the known, be known.

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